


Literally Percy Jackson Friendship Fluff

by Ensorcellular_data



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Kane Chronicles - Rick Riordan
Genre: BAMF Annabeth, BAMF Calypso, BAMF Women, BAMF all the people honestly, Buckle your seatbelts, Friendship, Gen, Hazel never assumes people's genders and just thinks of them as "they", I'm procrastinating, Nico is a Dork, One of them is Michael from BMC, Percy is a Dork, She gets frank to do it too, and nico picks up on it, calypso is confused, calypso loves modern plumbing, chicken nugger, could eventually become a crack fic sorry, dom i love him yes, fluff with a little plot, good luck, half asleep percy is sassy percy, have fun, have i said how much i love kym, hazel is precious but also BAMF, hazel is still confused, hazel makes friends with all the nymphs, hell yeah, i don't know how McDonalds works, i have some plot okay, i honestly can't tell if this is serious or not, i love me some friendship, i mention people from different fandoms because I'm bad that way, i need to apologize to my other fic for ignoring it, i will never ever say McChicken Nugger correctly I can tell you that, ill buy you ten happy meals nico you look so happy, im a fan of percy and calypso becoming friends again, its like a one shots pic but with friendship idk, kym is my bby, kymopoleia and percy get along sometimes, literally friendship fluff, mcdonalds nico, my child, nico is a night owl, not canon!!, not focused on relationships?, oh gods we gotta get meme calypso in here, oh yeah i had a purpose writing these tags didn't i, percy and calypso is mentioned!!!, percy is a snake oil salesman, plot?, pshhh who needs that, she's my baby, talking to you percy, there are various ships but they're background, theres definitely gonna be some memes in here, this is fic abuse, uh memes probably, uh piper and annabeth are besties, uh there's a fashion designer named arthur??, what else should i say, why do you even wear a shirt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-06 09:12:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15191546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ensorcellular_data/pseuds/Ensorcellular_data
Summary: I love me some friendship. Ships are mostly background filling? It's fluff. No real ongoing plot. Uhhh have fun. I'm v bad at descriptions but I promise I can grammar and spelling.





	1. Nico and Hazel Eat the Chicken Nuggers.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh yeh well um hello there this is a McDonalds thing with Nico and Hazel and I just love them so much alright.
> 
>  
> 
> In which Nico decides enough is enough and shows Hazel McDonalds and the McChicken Nuggers.

“So, I walk into this McDonalds, I’m half-way around the country, confused, and running on three hours of sleep, and guess who’s there? Our guest of honor, sitting in the corner with his biggest black hoodie on, eating McNuggets.” Percy laughs, and everyone laughs or grins. Even Nico himself smiles a little. “It was dumb luck—my kind of luck—that the monster teleported me to the McDonalds Neeks here was eating in.”

“Wow, Percy, you have simultaneously the best and worst luck on the face of the planet.” Frank bumps him on the shoulder.

“That’s really funny, Percy, but uh…” Hazel stutters when everyone looks at her.

“What’s up?”

“What’s a McDonalds?”

 

———————————time skip brought to you by McChicken Nuggers————————————

 

Hazel regrets ever asking that accursed question.

“Nico…it’s **two in the morning**. I love you but we are _not_ going to this McDonald right now.” She slumps against the wall, shoving curls out of her face. She was about as successful at taming her hair as she was convincing Nico to go to sleep. Which is to say, not at all.

“We have to go! This is what McDonalds is all about!” Nico, hair sticking up at odd angles, gazes at her in a way that would have scared anyone else to…well, death. Instead, his frantic eyes does the opposite, makes her weaker, because when had she last seen Nico so excited about something? The truth is, she hasn’t ever. When Nico showed up at Camp Jupiter, eye bags and sharp angles and dark clothes and all, he’d rarely spoken to anyone. He smiled even less. The satyr Grover Underwood, boyfriend of one of her new friends, had told her stories about a younger, more carefree Nico he’d seen. But he hadn’t seen it for long.

“…Alright. We’ll go. But if a monster attack us and kills us because I’m too sleep-deprived to do anything, I’m telling our father it’s your fault,” she teases. “C’mon Nico, let’s go to McDonalds.”

 

———————————————————

 

“Holy cow, this place is _huge_!” Hazel looks in awe at the building, squinting against the bright red and yellow neon lights. “And what’s that thing over there, with the tubes?” She points at a clear section of the building, taller than the rest. Nico just smiles widely, and Hazel’s heart melts.

_I’ll go to McDonalds a thousand times if he keeps smiling like that._

She jumps, startled out of her thoughts as Nico, hand around her arm, drags her into the building. There’s a bunch of tables, and the floor is grey tile, and the lights are bright and there’s so much color. In the back—or the front, Hazel is all turned around—is a counter with a bored looking person with skin darker than Hazel’s, and behind him are racks and ovens and even more people with nets over their hair and sizzling and popping and shouting even thought it’s three o’clock and there are barely any cars on the street they shadow-traveled to.

“How can I help y’all today?” They say, and put on a very fake cheery face. She wants to squish their cheeks together until they don’t need to smile like that anymore. 

“I’ll take as many chikken McNuggets as I can get with this.” Nico slams down a couple bills and some change that clatters against the counter.

“A-alright. Um, that’s…..one forty piece McNugget box. Your change is-“

“Keep the change please. It’s Nico. Hazel, once we’re done eating we’re going in the playhouse over there.” Nico nods excitedly, briefly pointing at a glass enclosed part of the building with lies and tubes winding their way around before towing her over to a booth near the front.

“Are we even allowed in there?” She glances nervously at the McDonalds attendant. Nico shrugs as if saying  _Who’s gonna stop us?_ Hazel looks around, realizing he’s right. There’s one other person in the McDonalds, buried in some kind of device and a large red hoodie, thick headphones poking out from under their hood. She leans towards him and whispers. “It’s not even that cold in here.” Nico looks at her in confusion until she nods her head to the left, unruly curls swaying with the gesture.

“Oh, some people are just like that. The thing they’re holding,” he mutters, interpreting her confused glance, “is an electronic device that people use to play video games, or a DS. They’re not that common nowadays, so it’s kinda weird for a person around our age to have one. And the drink next to him is a slushy. I don’t know why he got one from 711—that’s another chain store-but they’re basically crushed ice and flavoring.”

“Uh, Nico?” The cashier calls, and Hazel’s brother stands up, grin back on his face. Hazel forgets the clamor of clanking and popping when she looks at that smile, so rarely seen until now.

“I remember you telling Leo about how you don’t know what chikkn nuggets are. Well, you’re about to find out.” Hazel watches, slightly bemused as he races to the counter, grabs a red tray, and slides back, carefully holding the tray like it’s worth far more than the nine dollars he paid. “Here you go, _madam_. We’ll share. Here’s ketchup, mustard, barbecue sauce. You dip it.” He laughed as she tries to poke a hole in the small packets. “Here uh, sis—tear the corner piece off.” He flushes slightly as he uses the endearment, but Hazel turns positively red.

“Thanks, Neeks.” She opens a mustard and licks a little off her finger, then grimaces. “Uh, I’ll pass on this one.” But as she opens the barbecue sauce she finds she quite likes it and opens another two. Nico pulls the cardboard lid up and grabs a brown lump. _A McChicken Nugger?_

“Here, try one!” Hazel looks into his face for a second to find it free of frown lines or haunted looks. She grins and takes it from him, dipping it hesitantly into the sauce.

“Holy Hades, these are salty!” Hazel’s golden eyes widen. She takes another bite. “And addicting.”

Nico, dumping a nugget in ketchup, pumps his fists. “I **knew** you’d love it!”

Hazel looks at him, grinning softy. “Yeah. Yeah, I do love it.”


	2. Snake Oil Percy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey there this is another chapter that I already have written and edited and wow it's definitely not gonna be this frequent in he future.
> 
> Poseiden, Percy Jackson, and my fave Kym,,,,,,,let's just call her Kym. Based off when Jason promised he a shrine and and action figure (as well as other stuff...like....cowering....)

_Percy._

“Uuurgh.” Percy rolls over in bed.

 _Percy._  No response.

**_Percy!_ **

“Whaaa? Annabeth?”

_No, it’s your father!_

Percy sits up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Poseidon?”

The voice mutters a bit. _Yes, son. I need your help._ Percy sighs and rolls out of bed, careful not to wake anyone else.

“What is it?” Percy asks as he slips on a random pair of pants. “Does it require a shirt?”

_No, Percy, I suppose it doesn’t require a shirt. But please hurry. Come to the ocean._

“Great. I’m going to be eaten by Argentum.” Percy grumbles. Poseidon does’t bother with a response. “You helped defeat Gaea, wow great job son. Maybe we could go out for dinner sometime. Maybe I could go apologize to Sally for being bit of a deadbeat dad and not providing her or her son any safety. Maybe I could **remember that my son is somewhere in California, protected by a river, and can’t get to the ocean unless he wants to take a plane, which he certainly doesn’t want to do!”**

Someone stirs in their bed, groaning, and Percy stands stock still until he could hear snores again.

_Oh, right, Camp Jupiter. Damn. And, uh, you did a great job with defeating Gaea?_

Percy rolls his eyes. “That’s progress, I guess. I should give an appreciation lecture on Olympus. Maybe then the gods will learn how to get their kids to do anything without brute force or the Oracle.”

_You’re my son, and you’ve helped Olympus many times, but you are pushing it right now._

“Okay, okay, don’t want Poseidon do drown me…. _oh, wait_.”

_Just…hurry up._

Percy presses his lips together to avoid smirking and sneaks out of the cohorts, which means he bumps into two beds and knocks over something on a table. Finally he makes it out. “You never told me where to go.”

 _Ah, yes_. Percy opens his mouth, and then he’s stuck in a wind current, twisting roughly. He knows he’s in Camp Jupiter but he sees water outside the current, tropical reefs and dark, cold trenches. His limbs feel like they’re being stretched and pulled out of their sockets, though they’re stuck straight at their sides. Then the wind disappears and Percy is standing in the ocean, gazing at Poseidon’s home.

“Wow, you’ve really fixed the place up since I last saw it. Also, a little warning next time?” Percy addresses it to Poseidon, though he appears to be alone. And then he’s not alone. Poseidon simply exists, right next to him, though they weren’t there a moment before. Who knows if they’ll be there a moment later.

“Hello Percy, it’s good to see you again.”

“Why have you called me here? Whatever it is, can’t you do it?” Percy looks at him accusingly. “I don’t want to get involved in anything else!"

“I know, son, I just—my daughter. You’ve met her, Kym.” Percy laughs.

“Oh yeah, Kym. What’s with the full name though? Did you just smash together some letters for the aesthetic or what that an actual conscious decision?” Poseidon looks at him for a minute.

“For the sake of both our minds, I’m not answering that. But Kym is becoming a problem. You’ve heard the announcements of the disturbing sea-storms?” Percy nods, suddenly focused.

“I thought that was you…Go on.”

“Kym is rather displeased. I’ve been led to believe that you—and Zeus’ son—promised her recognition, and an action figure?”

Percy’s eyes widen. “Crap, I forgot about that. Uh, I think Jason’s getting on it but I don’t know the details.” Poseidon opens their mouth, but their son beats him to it. “But I don’t have enough time to go and check, do I, because these are the gods and no matter how long they have to live they require everything immediately.”

“Well...yes.” His father looks slightly abashed. Percy gazes in the direction of where he feels dry land to be, then sighs.

“Yeah I’ll do it, but if I die or get grievously injured you’re explaining this to Annabeth.” Poseidon looks frightened enough that Percy knows his dad will take every opportunity to protect him, if only to avoid his girlfriend’s wrath. “Where is my darling sister? It’s time to improvise.”

After another slightly nauseating trip through he sea-whirlwind transport (god Percy needs to think of a better name of that), Percy lands—well, hovers— above a ledge overlooking a small trench, There’s Kym, all right, scary Captain America disk flashing in the ghostly deep-sea water as she moves it with ferocious power. If Percy wasn’t a child of the sea he would have been blown away as soon as the transport dropped him off. That being so, he takes a deep (underwater?) breath and swims down to meet her. He cries out in the most approachable voice he can manage in the early hours of the morning.

“How’s it going, Kym?” She whips around, hair wriggling in a way that makes Percy have to close his eyes a minute. When he opens them the disk is a few centimeters away from his throat.

“Hey, it’s me, uh your half brother. Percy? You remember me, right? I’m, uh, here to- give you a check in about our progress involving your merchandise.”

“Ah, yes. Perseus Jackson. I am disappointed in you and the other boy, Jason Grace. You two made me a promise, one that my sources do not see coming into fruition. I am also disappointed in your wardrobe choices. Next time you come to die, please wear something more than…pokemon pajama pants.” Kym moves the disk the tiniest bit farther away from Percy’s neck. “Speak now, it is not close enough to decapitate you."

“Oh, uh, thanks I guess. For the not decapitating me thing. Well, according to my tablet—“ Percy pretends to search his pockets. He looks up with a wide-eyed, cross look. “Well, dam, looks like I forgot it. Uh, do you mind?” He points to a section of water that immediately picks up sand, and solidifies slightly, turning into an opaque mass. “Here, look at this. We’re having just a bit of trouble trying to decide what you want your shrine -and more importantly, your action figure- to look like. Now, I had some proposed images, but I clearly don’t have them with me.” He shrugs innocently.

“And? How does this convince me not to separate that pretty head from your body, brother?” Kym, despite herself, looks intrigued.

“Well, I have to find out what you think looks good. And if you kill me, my friend Jason can never get the final images to make. And, can I say, this whole storm thing is an excellent publicity stunt.” Kym looks at him in confusion.

“Publicity…stunt?”

“Yeah! The whole, “fear me, I’m the goddess of violent sea storms” thing has really stirred up some interest in you. Once the market knows about your upcoming figure, they’ll be flooding the markets to buy it!” The goddess’ dark skin flushes with pleasure, and her tentacle hair strikes a little less aggressively at the surrounding water. “But we don’t want to overdo it, so I think the raging should be put on hold for a while. And see, these, uh, pants, show an excellent marketing technique. They put the pokemon onto the pants. Easy, wearable merchandise that also broadcasts the merchandise’s characters to anyone who sees them."

“So first, let’s talk about the shrine. We weren’t sure exactly how to position your shield; should it be on a stand, or in it’s sheath, or perhaps in your hand, pointing it how you were a few minutes ago, at my throat? And your whole hand movement, it’s quite unique…” Percy silently prepares himself for a long couple of hours. Kym tries to fight back a wry little smile.

 

_Siblings, huh. What are you gonna do with ‘em?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love my bby kym ok
> 
>  
> 
> Ah yes, Kym's full name, Kymgiperghaw. I'm sure that's accurate. 10/10 would name my child this.
> 
> Tell me if I've done a bad and i will try to make if perf again. 
> 
>  
> 
> cHiKkEn nUgGeRrRRrRrrR


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tHiS iS nOt aN uPdAtE iM jUsT sLeEp dEpRiVeD aNd HiGh oN kLaNcE sTuFf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna be so mad at myself in the morning but its fuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnny  
> ;;;;;;;;;;;;)))))))))))))) k i l l m e
> 
> wait which fic is this frickedy frackle

Lance: Dear God, thank you for leaving a bowl of warm chili next to the microwave

Keith: *from far away* Fuck you that’s mine!

Lance: T h a n k y o u g o d

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do y'all believe in m o t h m a n bc i only do after like 350 degrees. Wait thats the oven i should not be baking rn after like i wanna say 11 at night????? but mOTHMAN IS REAL OK FITE ME
> 
>  
> 
> anyway pray to satan that I'll get some sleep. Maybe I'll listen to you from my fiery throne eYYYYYYYYYY
> 
> Firey? Feiry? Fairy? Ferry? fiery? furry? w h o k n o w s a t t h i s p o i n t


End file.
